It's Time
by Lingua Dii
Summary: Follow-up to "Prisoner 359070 Is Missing". KennyxKyle. Rated T for language. This story has been rewritten with a different writing style.
1. Little Things

Third story, first chapter. It's a follow-up to "Prisoner 359070 Is Missing". This story was originally split in my head into three separate concepts, but none of them worked on their own to make a proper story, so I combined them. As always, Kenny's PoV, KennyxKyle and I hope you enjoy it.  
><strong>NOTE: This entire story has been rewritten with a new writing style. Although the plot is the same, there are a few new additions to it.<strong>

* * *

><p>Cartman was dead and, after months of therapy and being treated for the bullet wound, Butters was better. Everyone mourned Cartman's death, despite what he did, but nowadays, the only person who was still mourning was his mother. She never knew what her son was really like and now she didn't have to.<p>

The boys had told the police that there were some drug traffickers over at the old Asian district and that they got caught in the middle of a shoot-out. Without any evidence to the contrary, the police believed them and, although they were a little suspicious of Kenny (due to his past drug use), they let him go when Kyle stood up for him. They were highly suspicious of Timmy, due to the large Timmy-shaped metal protection full of bullet-sized dents, but after hours of futilely attempting to interrogate him, they let him go as well.

* * *

><p>After everything went back to normal (or as normal as things got around South Park), news of Kenny and Kyle's relationship spread fast. There wasn't a single person in town who didn't know about it now. When Kenny's parents heard the news, however, they snapped. They were very upset, to say the least, but eventually they just dropped it, as always. Besides, even if they hadn't, Kenny had more important things to worry about right now, like the fact that Kyle had been drifting away from him for the last couple of weeks.<p>

It was just little things at first, like "My mom wants me home early" or "I have a headache". A while ago he said that he had to study for a test, but Kenny ran into him in the shopping mall. When confronted about it, he said his mother made him go. Kenny got suspicious. Why would his mother force him to go to shopping if he was studying? However, all of Kenny's suspicions went away temporarily when Kyle looked at him with his dark green eyes. They came back just as soon as Kenny got home, though. Was he getting tired of their relationship? It was a possibility that Kenny was unwilling to consider, because of his own commitment to it. He truly loved Kyle, and he couldn't even think that he would be leaving him.

After a while, however, Kyle just left Kenny's side without justifying it, and eventually stopped spending time with him altogether.

Kenny had to face the fact that no matter how much you love someone, eventually, you're going to get bored, but he couldn't. Instead, he thought that maybe Kyle's parents were putting pressure on him because of their relationship being public and decided to ask him about it at school tomorrow.

* * *

><p>Kenny got out of bed a few hours before school and, for the first time in his life, he actually wanted to go, to find out the truth. He needed to find out the truth.<p>

As he approached the bus stop, he noticed that Kyle was nowhere to be seen. Stan and Token were there, but no Kyle.

Kenny: Hey dudes.  
>Token: Hey Kenny.<br>Stan: Hey.  
>Kenny: So... has anyone seen Kyle today?<br>Stan: It's morning. How are we supposed to know where he is?

"_Good point._"

Kenny: I just thought you might've seen him go by here or something...  
>Token: Nope. Sorry, dude.<p>

"_If anyone should know, it's you, especially because of what he's been doing._"

Both Token and Stan had the "I know something you don't" look on their faces, which didn't go unnoticed by Kenny. If it was related to Kyle, he would find out anyway. If it wasn't, he didn't care.

* * *

><p>"<em>School... Can't believe I missed this place.<em>"

Although that was Kenny's first thought upon arriving, he didn't really miss school, just what it represented – a normal life. He had died for the first time in two years, had to watch a friend get shot and another friend (more or less) killed right in front of his eyes. It seemed that every time his life started to go back to normal for once, something came along to screw with him.

"_Wait, is that... Yeah, it's Kyle!_"

Kenny: Kyle!

"_He's got some kind of letter in his hand. I bet it's another one of his cute poems. Those always make me smile._"

Kyle: Oh... Hey, Ken. What's up?

"_I haven't seen you for a week and all you have to say is 'What's up?'_"

Kenny: Not much... What do you have there?  
>Kyle: Oh, uh... it's nothing.<p>

"_Right..._"

Kenny: Kyle, what's going on? I haven't seen you for a week, and you're acting all weird... Is something wrong?  
>Kyle: Nothing's wrong, I swear. Look, Ken, I uh... gotta get to class now. My teacher will be really pissed if I'm late. Bye, Ken.<p>

"_Something's going on here, and I'm gonna find out what. I know just who to talk to._"

Kenny: Hi Butters.  
>Butters: AH! Oh, it's you, Ken.<p>

"_The fuck? I expected this from Tweek, not you._"

Kenny: Uh... Yeah, it's me. Why are you so jumpy?  
>Butters: N-No reason.<p>

If there was ever any doubt in Kenny's mind, it was gone now. Butters hadn't stuttered since he was twelve, which meant that something was up; most likely a secret that he was keeping from Kenny.

Kenny: Butters, just tell me what you know.

"_Smooth, Kenny. He'll never suspect a thing._"

Butters: I don't know anything! I-I swear!  
>Kenny: Butters, I need to know. It could be important.<br>Butters: I swear, Kenny, it's not a big deal.  
>Kenny: So you <em>do<em> know something...

"_Dammit._"

Butters: God dammit Kenny, just drop it! I-I'm not gonna tell you anything!

Butters walked around Kenny and left as quickly as he could, much to the latter's surprise.

"_What the fuck is wrong with everyone? You know what, fuck them. I don't care anymore. I'm just gonna finish school, go to work and sleep. Not even gonna talk to Kyle after school. Just gonna leave._"

* * *

><p>Kenny did just that. After school was over, he went to his house to pick up his work clothes and then ran back to the Tweek's coffee shop. Once he got there, he remembered that he had never gotten the raise he wanted. He decided to see if Tweek's dad was available for a chat.<p>

Kenny: Mr. Tweak?  
>Richard: Hi, Kenny. Come in, come in.<p>

Kenny pulled on his parka's strings so he could accept Richard's offer.

Kenny: I just wanted to ask you for a raise, if that's okay...  
>Richard: Ah, you want a raise... Tell me, why do you think that you deserve a raise?<p>

"_Is he fucking serious?_"

Kenny: Well, sir, it just seems like I do pretty much everything around here. I clean, I take orders...  
>Richard: Say no more. You got yourself a raise.<p>

"_Well, that was... suspiciously easy._"

Richard: You'll now be making $12 per hour, starting tomorrow.

"_12x5x5x4... Wow, that's over $1000 every month!_"

Kenny: Thank you very much, Mr. Tweak!  
>Richard: You're welcome, Kenny. Now then, go back to work. We don't want our costumers waiting.<br>Kenny: Yes, sir.

"_I just got a fucking raise!_"

Tweek: AH! H-Hi Kenny!

"_God damn, that kid scared me._"

Kenny: Hey Tweek.  
>Tweek: S-So what did you t-talk to my d-dad about?<br>Kenny: I asked for a raise, and he gave me one.  
>Tweek: C-Cool.<p>

"_Is it me or is Tweek... twitchier than normal? If he knows about whatever it is that Butters was hiding, he'll tell me. I just gotta put a little pressure on him._"

Kenny: So Tweek, do you know what Butters was hiding from me?

"_Once again, smooth, Kenny._"

Tweek: WHAT? N-No!

"_God dammit, why does everyone lie to me in such an obvious manner?_"

Kenny: Tweek, I know you're lying.  
>Tweek: I'm n-not lying! I swear! I d-don't even k-know what Butters was hiding f-from you!<br>Kenny: Fine then. I gotta go back to work. Bye.  
>Tweek: B-Bye!<p>

Kenny was getting angrier by the second. Every time he talked to one of his so called "friends", all they did was lie to him. He decided that if they wouldn't give him the answers he needed, he would just have to spy on Kyle and get them himself.

* * *

><p>The first thing he had to do was change his clothes. Bright orange wasn't exactly something everyone wore around South Park. He decided to wear the same clothes that he was wearing when the boys went after Cartman. It was dark enough that he could approach Kyle without being seen, but bright enough that he wouldn't be run over by a car.<p>

A few minutes later, he arrived at Kyle's house. All he had to do was hide and spy on him. However, there was someone there that he didn't expect.

"_...Wait, is that Bebe? What's she doing over there? I gotta get in a little closer._"

Bebe: -o you think he knows?  
>Kyle: Kenny? Nah. He suspects something's up but nobody told him about this.<p>

"_I knew it._"

Bebe: Not even Tweek or Butters?  
>Kyle: Nah. Tweek was probably too scared to say anything coherent, and I told Butters his parents would ground him if he ruined this.<br>Bebe: Good. Then let's go up to your room.  
>Kyle: Yeah. By the way, thanks for doing this.<br>Bebe: My pleasure, Kyle.

"_I knew it... Kyle's dating Bebe and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. How could I have been so stupid? I should've known it something like this, if even Butters wouldn't tell me. But I won't give Kyle the chance to tell me. I'll tell __**him**__ to his face that we're over. Tomorrow, after school. God damn you, Kyle Broflovski._"

* * *

><p>Although Kenny was angry at first, he was soon overcome with grief, as if everyone he had ever known died all at the same time. He couldn't understand why Kyle would do this. Kyle had always told him that he loved him, and you don't love someone and then betray them like this.<p>

* * *

><p>The following morning, Kenny was trying to eat his breakfast, but he couldn't even taste it.<p>

Carol: Kenny? What's wrong?  
>Kenny: This food sucks, that's what.<br>Carol: Kenny! Watch your language!  
>Kenny: Sorry, mom.<p>

"_Maybe I should tell them._"

Kenny: By the way, I got a raise. I'll be making $1200 a month now.  
>Stuart: That's great, son!<p>

"_Yeah... I also lost my boyfriend._"

Kenny: I gotta go to school now. I can't be late.  
>Carol: Alright, take care.<br>Kenny: Bye.

* * *

><p>Kenny got to the bus stop a few minutes later. Once again, just Stan and Token. No Kyle. However, Kenny was relieved. If he got to Kyle right now, he would have to spend the rest of the day thinking about what he had done.<p>

Kenny: Hey dudes.  
>Stan: Hey Kenny.<br>Token: Hey.  
>Kenny: Let me guess, nobody's seen Kyle today either.<br>Stan: Nope.  
>Token: No.<p>

"_Alright Kenny, control yourself. Just gotta wait until after school._"

* * *

><p>Kenny didn't run into Kyle anyway, but now it was lunch time, and that reminded him of how much he missed Chef. He knew that if Chef were here, he'd know what to do. He'd probably give him an answer in the form of a song, as always.<p>

"_Fuck, there's Kyle. With Bebe. Fucking Kyle. Fucking Bebe. Fuck this. I'm just gonna ignore them. Not gonna stare._"

Kenny tried his best to follow his own advice, but he couldn't ignore the giggles between Kyle and Bebe. Eventually, he found himself staring at them again.

"_God dammit, why do I do this to myself? Just focus on your lunch, Kenny. Lunch is good. Staring is bad._"

Butters: Hey Kenny! Can I sit here with you?

"_God dammit, go away, Butters._"

Kenny: ...Sure.

"_I really suck at this._"

Butters: Lunch looks good today.  
>Kenny: I guess.<p>

"_What the fuck are they talking about over there?_"

Butters: What are you looking at?  
>Kenny: Nothing... You know what, you can have my lunch. I lost my appetite.<br>Butters: But you gotta eat something...  
>Kenny: Just leave me alone, Butters.<br>Butters: O-Okay...

"_God damned Butters._"

* * *

><p>Kenny unwillingly and unknowingly focused his anger on Butters for the rest of the day, which allowed him to focus on the things he had to do rather than what Kyle was doing. However, now it was time to do what needed to be done.<p>

Kenny: Kyle!  
>Kyle: Y-Yeah?<br>Kenny: Can I talk to you for a sec?  
>Kyle: I guess.<br>Kenny: In private?  
>Kyle: Sure.<p>

"_Don't look into his eyes. That's how he gets you. It's worse than Medusa. Instead of turning into stone you turn into jelly._"

Kenny: I saw you and Bebe last night.

Kyle's fear was now clearly visible in his face.

Kyle: So... You know about what we've been doing?  
>Kenny: It wasn't easy, but yeah. Stan, Token, Tweek, even Butters. They all wouldn't tell me anything.<br>Kyle: I told them to. I didn't want you to find out about it until-  
>Kenny: Until what? Until you came to spit in my face and say you were breaking up with me?<br>Kyle: What? No! Look, just let me explain. I-  
>Kenny: No, I won't let you explain. I'm just gonna leave. We're done, Kyle. I don't want to see you again.<p>

Kenny left, knowing full well that Kyle was staring at him. However, he also knew that Kyle wouldn't say anything.

"_He knows I'm right. I just gotta go home now and get some rest. I'll ask Tweek's dad for the day off. He should understand why I need it. Breakups are never easy._"

* * *

><p>Kenny had been lying on his bed for almost two hours now. It was way past midnight and he was exhausted, but he still couldn't sleep. He was crying almost as much as when Kyle got sick, but now he couldn't accept the reason behind it. He tried to psyche himself up, but it was of no use. He needed something that would guarantee that he would fall asleep.<br>He looked in the fridge for beer, but there was none.

"_Why the fuck is there no beer when I need it? There is something else I could use... But it's not here. I gotta get a shovel._"

Kenny started digging in his backyard and eventually found his drugs. The box was airtight, so everything was in perfect condition. He went back into his room through the window, so nobody would see him, but once he got there, he stopped. He knew he shouldn't use them.

"_Then again, why not? Kyle won't care. He's with Bebe. Stan's with Wendy, Butters won't ever find out and nobody else cares enough to stop me._"

With that in mind, Kenny injected himself with a large amount of heroin, although his hand was shaking so much that he started bleeding more than he should have.

"_I should just stick to stuff you ingest, not inject. At least the pain will go away in a while. And then I'll be free. Free of Kyle. Free of life._"

* * *

><p>Well, that's chapter one. I'm still thinking about a name for chapter two, though it will most likely be named "Drugs".<p> 


	2. Not What You Think

This is chapter two of my third story. I don't think this (the entire story) is my best work yet, but it's readable.

* * *

><p>Instead of dying, Kenny woke up with a massive headache a few hours later. At first he thought it was his room, but after a short examination, he realized that he was in Clyde's room.<p>

Kenny: Hello, Clyde.  
>Clyde: Ah, so you're finally awake. I've been here for the past five hours wondering whether I should call an ambulance or just bury you.<p>

"_He's kidding about the last part... right?_"

Kenny: A glass of water will do fine, thanks.  
>Clyde: Here you go.<p>

"_My mouth is so dry..._"

Clyde smiled while Kenny drank the glass as if his life depended on it.

Clyde: You don't remember anything about last night, do you?  
>Kenny: I was high. I'd be surprised if I did.<p>

"_I'd be surprised too._"

Clyde: Yeah, I'd be surprised too. Let me give you the short version: You ran here, scared both my parents, woke me up to mumble about Kyle and Bebe while crying on my shoulder and passed out on my bed.  
>Kenny: Sounds pretty normal to me. That's the kind of shit you do when you're high.<br>Clyde: You weren't high. You were depressed and did something stupid.  
>Kenny: Says you. Now where's my parka? I gotta get home before my parents know I'm missing.<br>Clyde: Yeah, you took that off before trying to make out with me. I was trying to get you to snap out of it and you thought I was Kyle.

"_Wow, I was seriously tripping balls._"

Kenny: That just proves how high I was. You're nothing like Kyle. Kyle has red hair and green eyes. You have brown hair and eyes, like pretty much everyone else.  
>Clyde: No, that just proves how desperate you were. You said, and I quote, "I don't care if you betrayed me, I still love you, my little red haired Jew."<p>

"_I should really lock myself down before I get high._"

Kenny: I was probably hallucinating before coming here or something.  
>Clyde: Still no. You saw everything else perfectly. The only thing you were seeing that wasn't there was Kyle.<p>

"_And it was extremely creepy, if I might add._"

Kenny: Clyde, just give me my fucking parka before I punch you in the face.  
>Clyde: <em>After<em> we talk.  
>Kenny: We <em>were<em> talking. Now we're done.  
>Clyde: Why did you start using again? And why do you think Kyle betrayed you?<br>Kenny: Long story.  
>Clyde: I have time. Your parka's not going anywhere, and I doubt you'd go outside like that, if you don't want your parents to know that you're gone.<p>

"_Fucking smartass._"

Kenny: Fine... I noticed that Kyle's been spending less and less time with me. I thought I shouldn't worry, you know, give him some space. But then we pretty much didn't see each other _at all_. That's when I started worrying.  
>Clyde: Go on.<br>Kenny: I also noticed that the guys were keeping a secret from me, and I thought it was related to Kyle, so I stayed outside his house to see what it was. I waited for a while and Bebe just goes over there like it's nothing. Then they start talking about what I'm not supposed to know about. After I confronted Kyle about it, he said I wasn't supposed to know until...  
>Clyde: Until...?<br>Kenny: I don't know. I was fucking pissed off so I left him standing there.

"_So not only did you freak out over nothing, you didn't even listen to him? Damn, you're stupid._"

Clyde: See, there's your problem. You didn't listen to him. If you did, you wouldn't need rehab for the next three weeks or something.  
>Kenny: I'll be fine. Now where's my parka?<br>Clyde: It's right over there. Now go talk to Kyle. It's not what you think.  
>Kenny: Then what is it?<p>

"_If I told you, you wouldn't learn anything._"

Clyde: I can't tell you.

"_Same BS answer everyone gave me. I guess it's time I found out what's really going on. Right after I get back to my room._"

Kenny: And if it is what I think it is?  
>Clyde: It isn't.<p>

"_Great answer..._"

Kenny: Bye, Clyde.  
>Clyde: Bye.<p>

"_Don't let me see you here again, at least not like this._"

* * *

><p>Kenny went back into his room and tried to find his drugs, so he could hide them before his parents found them. They forgave (or forgot) his renewed drinking habit, but the drugs were completely different. Kenny found and hid his drugs just in time; his mother was right at his door.<p>

Carol: Kenny?  
>Kenny: Yeah, mom?<br>Carol: Breakfast is ready.  
>Kenny: Alright, thanks. I'll be right down.<p>

Kenny's drugs were safe once more. Now he just had to eat his breakfast, go to school and get the truth. Of course, if Clyde was wrong, then...

Kevin: Kenny! If you don't come down here right now, I'm taking your breakfast!

"_Well, he usually just takes it, so I guess that's an improvement._"

Kenny: I'm coming, Kevin! Keep your pants on!

* * *

><p>When Kenny got to the bus stop, only Butters was there. He started remembering "the good old days" when they used to hang out at the bus stop; when Cartman wasn't in jail or dead, he didn't try to kill himself because he broke up with his boyfriend and Butters didn't have to kill someone.<p>

Kenny: Hey Butters.  
>Butters: Hi Kenny! How are you feeling today?<br>Kenny: Fine. Have you seen anyone else?  
>Butters: No... I haven't been here long though.<p>

"_That probably means I'll have to spend the next fifteen minutes alone with... Butters. Great._"

Butters: So, did you sleep well?  
>Kenny: I guess.<p>

Butters was even more energetic than usual, and it was really bothering Kenny.

Butters: Hey, look! There's Stan!

"_At least it's better than just Butters._"

Stan: Hey dudes.  
>Butters: Hi Stan!<br>Kenny: Hey.

Butters was a few steps away from Kenny, so Stan turned to Kenny and started whispering about Butters.

Stan: What's up with Butters?  
>Kenny: I don't know...<br>Stan: What's up with _you_?  
>Kenny: Had a bad dream.<br>Stan: Right...  
>Kenny: Where the fuck is that bus?<br>Butters: It's right over there. We should step back. I heard the new driver sucks.

The boys did that, and just in time too. The bus driver had hit the bus stop sign.

Bus Driver: Get in, kids! I'm taking you to school

Stan and Butters reluctantly got in, but Kenny had a better idea.

Kenny: You know, I haven't been exercising enough lately. I think I'll walk.  
>Bus Driver: Alright then. Bye!<p>

The driver sped away, after crashing into the sign three times in a row, much to everyone's amusement. However, Kenny had the bad luck of dying often, and he had learned to stay away from trouble. Besides, walking was good too.

"_Walking is __**awesome**__._"

Kenny faced the direction of the school, but after realizing just how far away it was, sighed, wearily.

"_...Yup, awesome._"

* * *

><p>By the time Kenny got to school, he was late for class... again. The teacher was yelling at him, but he couldn't even understand her. Everything was happening too quickly now, until he got to his desk. He noticed that there was a note on his desk, from Kyle. He picked it up, slowly, unfolded and read it.<p>

"_Kenny, I don't know what you think me and Bebe were doing, but it's not what you think, I swear. I'm willing to forgive and forget, if you're willing to do the same. Meet me at my house tonight at 10 PM, and we'll explain everything._"

Kenny thought about it for a few minutes, and eventually came to a conclusion.

"_Well, I already told Clyde I would talk to him so that takes care of that._"

* * *

><p>After school, Kenny dropped off his bag at home, waited a few hours and went to Kyle's, like the note said. It was very dark by the time he arrived, so he couldn't see anyone inside. However, Bebe arrived a few seconds later and went straight for Kyle's door.<p>

Bebe: Hey, Kyle. I'm here, like you asked.  
>Kyle: Thanks.<br>Bebe: So, uh... Where's Kenny?  
>Kyle: I don't know, but he should be here at any moment now.<p>

"_Good. Then he won't see this._"

Kenny approached them, but froze once he saw what Bebe did.

"_No. Fuck no. They did __**not**__ just kiss... Yeah, they did. Kyle's blushing and everything._"

Kyle: ...Look, Bebe, I don't... I like Kenny.

"_I noticed. That's all you say nowadays. I should've known it was hopeless._"

Unfortunately, Kenny didn't hear anything and just snapped. For the first time in his life, he wanted to hurt Kyle. Not physically, but emotionally. This was one of those times that he was glad that he was immortal.

Kenny: Hey, Kyle!  
>Kyle: Ken? Shit, see what you did, Bebe?<p>

"_Look who it is._"

Bebe: Hello, Kenny.  
>Kenny: Kyle, I got something to show you.<p>

Kenny took out his knife, which startled Kyle. He immediately put his hands up, thinking that Kenny was going to hurt him.

Kyle: Kenny, put the knife down. Please.

But Kenny had a different idea. He wanted Kyle to feel what he felt. He slit his own wrists, without even thinking that Kyle wouldn't remember it after he came back.

Kyle: KENNY! SHIT! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?  
>Kenny: I want you to feel what I felt when I saw you with that whore just now.<br>Bebe: Fuck you!

Bebe, unlike Kenny, snapped under the slightest amount of pressure and punched him in the stomach. Kenny immediately fell down and was already having trouble seeing due to the blood loss.  
>Kyle ran straight for him, completely ignoring Bebe, picked him up, carried him to his mom's car and drove to the hospital.<p>

Kyle: Kenny... Why did you do this?

"_Why do you think?_"

Kyle: Kenny, I don't know if you can hear me, but Bebe's the one who kissed me. We were planning your birthday party, that's why she was at my house. She was helping me decorate the house in a way that you'd like. I didn't know she liked me. I'm so sorry...

"_You're a terrible liar, Kyle Broflovski._"

Kenny had his doubts, though. It didn't make any sense for Kyle to lie about Bebe after what Kenny saw the two of them doing.

* * *

><p>Kenny opened his eyes but, instead of being in his room, as usual, he woke up in a place that he hadn't been to in almost ten years.<p>

"_Wait, is this hell? Why am I in hell?_"

Kenny was extremely frightened now. He was used to seeing hell or heaven from a distance, but he had never actually been to either more than a couple of times.

?: Hello, Kenny.

"_I'd recognize that voice anywhere..._"

Satan: Seems your luck ran out. You always managed to escape from me, but I finally have your soul. "The boy who can't die"... really, did you think it would last forever?  
>Kenny: <em>Kinda<em> did.  
>Satan: But it doesn't. I managed to catch you. And this time, we're gonna have some fun.<p>

Kenny suddenly saw what his body was going through. Kyle had arrived at the hospital and was telling the doctors to get him back at any cost.

Kenny: Bullshit. If I had ever escaped here, I'd remember it.  
>Satan: Or you wouldn't, the same way your friends forget you even died, as soon as you come back to life.<p>

Another flash went through Kenny's brain. This time, Kyle was squeezing his hand very hard. It seemed as if the doctors had given up.

Kenny: I can't be dead. I have-  
>Satan: What? "You have too much to live for"? Face it, you have nothing. You can't even keep a simple relationship, because you're an egotistical asshole when it comes to Kyle. You think you know everything about him and you always assume you're right about everything.<p>

Once again, Kenny saw his body and what was happening to it. This time, Kyle had his head on it. Kenny could even feel his tears.

Kenny: So... Kyle was telling the truth?

"_You'd think that would be obvious by now. Humans..._"

Satan: Of course he was! He planned the best birthday party you could ask for.  
>Kenny: Wait, just one small thing.<p>

"_Kid, you're dead. Just accept it._"

Satan: What?  
>Kenny: If this is hell, where's Eric Cartman?<br>Satan: Oh, he's over in the eternal torture cave.  
>Kenny: Ah. That makes sense.<p>

Kyle was whispering something into Kenny's ear, still crying.

Kyle: Kenny, please come back to me... You gotta come back. Please... I love you, Kenny...

With that, Kenny was filled with regret. He had just made the worst mistake of his life. He had to get back to Kyle, no matter what.

Kenny: You gotta let me go.  
>Satan: And why should I?<br>Kenny: You just gotta. Please. Remember when I helped you with Saddam?  
>Satan: Yes. I gave you one wish, and you got what you wanted.<br>Kenny: You know how you felt about the way he treated you?  
>Satan: ...Yes.<br>Kenny: Well, that's how Kyle is going to be feeling for the rest of eternity. You gotta let me go. Please.

"_Wow, this was the worst speech I ever gave. But it seems to be working_"

Satan: ...Oh, alright. I'll give you one more chance. But beware, if I catch you again, it'll be the last time.  
>Kenny: Thank you!<p>

* * *

><p>Thanks to Satan, Kenny was put back in his body. Kyle was still next to him, crying. However, he was overcome with joy once he saw that Kenny was back.<p>

Kyle: Kenny! You're awake!

"_Wait, he doesn't remember?_"

Kyle: The doctors didn't know what to do; you lost a lot of blood. Please don't try something stupid like that again...  
>Kenny: I won't... I'm sorry, Kyle. I... I shouldn't be such an asshole to you. I always assume I'm right, and I was so pissed off that I-<br>Kyle: It's okay, Ken. It's okay. Just promise you won't do anything like this again.  
>Kenny: I promise.<br>Kyle: Good, because I talked to the hospital and... I got the party moved here!

Before Kenny was put back in his body, Satan altered the timeline so that Kyle had called everyone and told them to meet him at the hospital. Now they were all here with balloons and gifts. Bebe wasn't with them, but Kenny didn't care. In fact, he was relieved.

Kyle: Happy birthday, Ken.  
>Kenny: Thanks, Kyle.<p>

Kenny had pretty much lost his immortality, but he still got Kyle in the end. And that was all he really cared about.

* * *

><p>Alright guys and girls, I'll be honest: I think this story is, quite literally, the worst thing I've ever written. I simply cannot write stuff like this. I was planning on deleting the story, but I saw that a user (who will remain anonymous) had this story on their alert list, or whatever you want to call it, so I decided to finish it.<p> 


End file.
